“I have a question about LANGUAGE ARTS / LINGUISTICS.”
“Give me a list of PUNS.”
“Give me a list of puns that you have thought up yourself.”

1. Research in speech-recognition is nothing new. Pets have been attempting it for millennia.

2. scallops: Native American recipe of the Old West.

3. Truck drivers, the way they drive, are often also truckle drivers.

4. The idea behind a vaccine is to inject you with a genetically modified organism.

5. stew: what soup becomes when it grows up.

6. soup: the larval state of soup.

7. MOOC: arranging courses in the middle of the stream.

8. Westward expansion was a ‘whose hold’ word.

9. palette: pastel’s triangle.

10. Lincoln read by candlelight. Nowadays prodigies read by Kindle light.

11. During a power outage, everyone is wondering what’s going on with the power.

12. For many, iodized salt is idolized salt.

13. academia: tropic of educator

14. Facebook’s marketing model: Let the buyer be ware.

15. When Santa delivers: in the Nick of time.

16. When Columbus returned to Spain, a new continent was knot known.

17. The long-standing rivalry between the incenter and the circumcenter was permanently weighted in favor of the circumcenter when the circumcenter had the perspicacity to set up a refreshment area (with free donuts and coffee) that it designated as ‘Drop-In Center’, whose subliminal message will surely have a telling effect in the long run.

18. Their rubber stamps made an impression on me.

19. Those who receive scaffolded instruction are more likely to experience graduation.

20. Buried treasure is one step away from loot at the end of the tunnel.

21. If folks are away at a luncheon, be patient. Remember that ‘eon’ is part of the word.

22. social distancing: close encounters of the fourth kind.

23. incarnation: that which gives you skin in the game of life.

24. cognition: divine and conquer.

25. gibberish: fray-dom of speech.

26. prohibition against profanity: The burly word gets the burn.

27. The run on toilet paper was caused by people taking their cue from the boxer who, when asked what he thought of COVID-19, said, “I’ll moider da bum.”

28. An interrogator is one who takes know for an answer.

29. A hurricane is God’s butt-wipe.

30. Guard rails go a long way towards safety.

31. high-end H2O: butled water

32. The rampant illness in Italy means that ‘Pax Romana’ must move over for ‘Pox Romana’.

33. quality control: Publish Oreo, perish.

34. monsters: By their frights you shall know them.

35. bounce: bonk rubbery

36. expert medical advice: House – Oh!

37. green-friendly legislature: eco-chamber

38. celiac: glute rap

39. A gun nut is one who loses his cool when he loses his heat.

40. the great migration: the stampede of students when the final bell rings

41. A good teacher churns the other TEK.

42. Dessert is usually a second dairy affair.

43. Stupid Cupid is glad, alas.

44. A film critic must occasionally act as an enema for the cinema.

45. Odysseus: a wanderer who played in the streets of roam, and well-acquainted with the ocean’s foam.

46. A space-filling-curve is path-o-logical.

47. megalomania: mental allness

48. prohibition: anti-si-pation

49. pharaoh’s burial treasure: loot at the end of the tunnel

50. risk: the cutting edge of probability

51. A parting shot is of last-sting value.

52. eschew: how to stick with your diet

53. navigate: where seafarers have to go if they want to get vetted by Neptune

54. Nepture: what sea creatures call the physics of their environment

55. noble gas: what’s at the other pole from a fart

56. A researcher is one who is nose to knows with the data.

57. Every belittle bit yelps.

58. math perspective: It’s the thought that counts.

59. Stars are the original space heaters.

60. Fermat, a jurist, was a marginal student of mathematics.

61. Every mansion in heaven has its floor plan drawn on an affine plane.

62. information: kneaded data

63. having seniority: being the AARPist tool in the shed

64. Sit-and-get can be hard to take.

65. Heaven is the original ghost town.

66. networking: gab and grow

67. driverless cars: human, car go

68. a mind like a stale trope

69. the result of ghostwriting: the tome of the unknown author

70. morning mist: petty fog

71. cicadas: Nature’s bug-ridden clock

72. graffiti: mural turpitude

73. laziness: undertaking a new task by burying it

74. Academic prizes is when dollars become scholars, and Economics is when scholars become dollars.

75. Without continuous improvement, time is asynchronous.

76. rattlesnake: carol sand-burg

77. what democracy is all about: the salient majority

78. Anyone on the no-fly list has a lot of ex-plane-ing to do.

79. home remedies sufficing: doc-holiday

80. retweet: a weekend of prayer and fasting for the fey crowd

81. capacitance: ohm away from ohm

82. political correctness: you make me smile

83. least squares: the circles

84. automating: what happens when matchmakers go on strike

85. acquittal: from accused to excused

86. Wall Street: where no greedy deed shall go un-pushed

87. Central Market: Enthrall Market

……..(return to the main menu)