“I have a question about LANGUAGE ARTS / LINGUISTICS.”
“Give me a list of PUNS.”
“Give me a list of puns that you have thought up yourself.”
1. Research in speech-recognition is nothing new. Pets have been attempting it for millennia.
2. scallops: Native American recipe of the Old West.
3. Truck drivers, the way they drive, are often also truckle drivers.
4. The idea behind a vaccine is to inject you with a genetically modified organism.
5. stew: what soup becomes when it grows up.
6. soup: the larval state of soup.
7. MOOC: arranging courses in the middle of the stream.
8. Westward expansion was a ‘whose hold’ word.
9. palette: pastel’s triangle.
10. Lincoln read by candlelight. Nowadays prodigies read by Kindle light.
11. During a power outage, everyone is wondering what’s going on with the power.
12. For many, iodized salt is idolized salt.
13. academia: tropic of educator
14. Facebook’s marketing model: Let the buyer be ware.
15. When Santa delivers: in the Nick of time.
16. When Columbus returned to Spain, a new continent was knot known.
17. The long-standing rivalry between the incenter and the circumcenter was permanently weighted in favor of the circumcenter when the circumcenter had the perspicacity to set up a refreshment area (with free donuts and coffee) that it designated as ‘Drop-In Center’, whose subliminal message will surely have a telling effect in the long run.
18. Their rubber stamps made an impression on me.
19. Those who receive scaffolded instruction are more likely to experience graduation.
20. Buried treasure is one step away from loot at the end of the tunnel.
21. If folks are away at a luncheon, be patient. Remember that ‘eon’ is part of the word.
22. social distancing: close encounters of the fourth kind.
23. incarnation: that which gives you skin in the game of life.
24. cognition: divine and conquer.
25. gibberish: fray-dom of speech.
26. prohibition against profanity: The burly word gets the burn.
27. The run on toilet paper was caused by people taking their cue from the boxer who, when asked what he thought of COVID-19, said, “I’ll moider da bum.”
28. An interrogator is one who takes know for an answer.
29. A hurricane is God’s butt-wipe.
30. Guard rails go a long way towards safety.
31. high-end H2O: butled water
32. The rampant illness in Italy means that ‘Pax Romana’ must move over for ‘Pox Romana’.
33. quality control: Publish Oreo, perish.
34. monsters: By their frights you shall know them.
35. bounce: bonk rubbery
36. expert medical advice: House – Oh!
37. green-friendly legislature: eco-chamber
38. celiac: glute rap
39. A gun nut is one who loses his cool when he loses his heat.
40. the great migration: the stampede of students when the final bell rings
41. A good teacher churns the other TEK.
42. Dessert is usually a second dairy affair.
43. Stupid Cupid is glad, alas.
44. A film critic must occasionally act as an enema for the cinema.
45. Odysseus: a wanderer who played in the streets of roam, and well-acquainted with the ocean’s foam.
46. A space-filling-curve is path-o-logical.
47. megalomania: mental allness
48. prohibition: anti-si-pation
49. pharaoh’s burial treasure: loot at the end of the tunnel
50. risk: the cutting edge of probability
51. A parting shot is of last-sting value.
52. eschew: how to stick with your diet
53. navigate: where seafarers have to go if they want to get vetted by Neptune
54. Nepture: what sea creatures call the physics of their environment
55. noble gas: what’s at the other pole from a fart
56. A researcher is one who is nose to knows with the data.
57. Every belittle bit yelps.
58. math perspective: It’s the thought that counts.
59. Stars are the original space heaters.
60. Fermat, a jurist, was a marginal student of mathematics.
61. Every mansion in heaven has its floor plan drawn on an affine plane.
62. information: kneaded data
63. having seniority: being the AARPist tool in the shed
64. Sit-and-get can be hard to take.
65. Heaven is the original ghost town.
66. networking: gab and grow
67. driverless cars: human, car go
68. a mind like a stale trope
69. the result of ghostwriting: the tome of the unknown author
70. morning mist: petty fog
71. cicadas: Nature’s bug-ridden clock
72. graffiti: mural turpitude
73. laziness: undertaking a new task by burying it
74. Academic prizes is when dollars become scholars, and Economics is when scholars become dollars.
75. Without continuous improvement, time is asynchronous.
76. rattlesnake: carol sand-burg
77. what democracy is all about: the salient majority
78. Anyone on the no-fly list has a lot of ex-plane-ing to do.
79. home remedies sufficing: doc-holiday
80. retweet: a weekend of prayer and fasting for the fey crowd
81. capacitance: ohm away from ohm
82. political correctness: you make me smile
83. least squares: the circles
84. automating: what happens when matchmakers go on strike
85. acquittal: from accused to excused
86. Wall Street: where no greedy deed shall go un-pushed
87. Central Market: Enthrall Market