“I have a question about LANGUAGE ARTS / LINGUISTICS.”
“Give me a list of SMART REPLIES.”
A: Have you got your flu shot yet?
B: Have you got your GED yet?
A: Do you have change for a dollar?
B: Around here, a dollar IS change.
A: How many people work in your office?
B: About half of them.
A: What’s the difference between knowledge and wisdom?
B: Knowledge consists of being aware that the tomato is really a fruit. Wisdom consists of not putting it in the fruit bowl.
A: Is the end of the world coming?
B: Yes, so repent and return those library books.
A: Why do grandchildren and grandparents get along so well?
B: Because they have a common enemy.
A: Old soldiers never die.
B: Young ones do.
A: The longest journey begins with a single step.
B: That’s what I’m afraid of.
A: What’s the difference between American girls and Chinese girls?
B: The Pacific Ocean.
A: Can you keep a secret?
B: As well as YOU can.
A: Is it alright if we call you ‘Charlie’?
B: Call me anything but late to supper.
A: Do you approve of clubs for children?
B: Only when kindness fails.
A: You should pay a little attention.
B: I’m paying as little as I can.
A: Call me a cab.
B: Okay, you’re a cab.
A: Mountain climbing is great exercise.
B: Up to a point.
A: Prices are rising fast.
B: That’s right. Nowadays you need that ‘double your money back’ guarantee just to break even.
A: I have a brain.
B: Yeah, but it came without instructions.
A: Have you lost your mind?
B: No, I know exactly where I left it.
A: What do you want to be when you grow up?
B: An out-of-touch CEO.
A: Did you graduate from Harvard?
B: No, but my secretary did.
A: Change is inevitable.
B: Except from a vending machine.